I've never considered myself to be a 'liberal' Christian until recently. Honestly, I don't even know what that term means. I'll just define it as being far away from fundamentalism. Hmm, but then I have to define 'fundamentalism'. Ah, forget it.
I love that verse in Revelation that is oft quoted to condemn the complacent, "Because you are neither hot nor cold I will spit you out of my mouth."
I love that people just assume that they know what that means. At all.
What about the fact that being 'cold' doesn't get you spit out? And 'hot' about what? About preaching the Gospel? About condemning the sinners? About prayer and fasting? About loving God and loving others? 'Hot' about circumcision?
Sorry, I got sidetracked.
I used to worry when I was younger, even in Bible college, that I would 'lose my faith' one day (whatever that means) and die and go to hell. I feared that I would die at some point in my life when I no longer believed Jesus to be my 'Lord and Saviour', and so, would be condemned to eternal suffering. Life seemed like a giant roulette wheel as I struggled through so much darkness. To some degree, it still does.
WTF? (What The Fudge?)
It never sat right with me that my conscious belief was what saved me. If Jesus saved me from eternal damnation, why would that be dependent on whether or not I realize it?
Seriously, that's retarded.
Here's what I don't get. If someone goes to hell just because they've never heard of Jesus, doesn't that make God a bit of an a-hole? So if I assume that God is not an a-hole (by my standards), is it the case where you only go to hell if you've heard of Jesus but rejected that belief? And if that's the case, wouldn't it be better to not tell people about Jesus rather than risk them rejecting him or becoming 'luke warm'?
That is all said quite satirically, just in case you missed it.
I never thought that I would be at this place in my spiritual journey, a place where I am okay with NOT firmly believing a lot of what I used to...and not being scared of going to hell because of it.
Some people don't like that perspective. 'A few years ago Matthew' would not like it, either. That's okay. I'd be fine listening to him vent and question my salvation.
That's what I'm growing to absolutely love: open dialogue. There are so many wells of truth that have seemed closed off to me for so very long and it's quite exciting. To think that I can learn truth from a 'fundamentalist', a pot-smoking hippie, a feminist, a homosexual, etc., is so...beautiful. God is not found exclusively in Christians or Christianity.
I still value the faith that I have and consider both the Bible and the person of Jesus Christ as the two greatest revelations of who God is and who we are, but there is a lot of stuff in between there.
So yeah, I'm a wishy-washy wanderer.
I trust God to continue to walk with me on this journey, no matter where I end up, even if others may think my destination to be the gates of hell. Even if that's the case, I'm finding myself to be in good company. So we can probably get a big Dutch Blitz tournament going once we're there. I'm assuming I would be forced to play Dutch Blitz in hell.
I am awful at that game.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
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9 comments:
Great post. I, too, found it quite liberating to realize that it was OK to doubt and be uncertain about some things and that truth does not exist exclusively within the boundaries of Christian dogma and religion.
To some people this might appear to be pluralistic or relativistic, but it's not a question of "everything is true, no matter what" or "true for you but not for me". The fact is that "the earth is the Lord's and everything in it" and, as some famous theologian guy---Augustine, maybe---said, "All truth is God's truth".
The other day I was watching one of those motivational speaker type guys on PBS. He was talking about "Living by Giving" and kept quoting stuff from the Dao De Jing (Lao Tzu?) and the little I heard was pretty cool and, in fact, true (and quite in line with what some might call "Christian truth"). This doesn't mean Eastern mysticism is "a way" or that I'm going to become a Taoist, but that Eastern mystics have some of their stuff together. God may have revealed himself in Christ---but God is also evident in his creation. We aren't completely ignorant of true things if we don't have a "saving knowledge of Jesus Christ", even though that's a pretty major piece of the puzzle.
A couple of years ago I suggested to someone that, for instance, not everything a Muslim believes is wrong and that perhaps some things could be learned from them. This person was aghast at this notion. I find it quite freeing.
Sorry for the essay. I just like this subject. I guess I'm just repeating what you said: "To think that I can learn truth from a 'fundamentalist', a pot-smoking hippie, a feminist, a homosexual, etc., is so...beautiful. God is not found exclusively in Christians or Christianity." Indeed.
This is exciting stuff. God has you right where he wants you...seeking Him out...seeking truth out. Our lives as Christians as not to be the same as when we first believed! We are to be seekers of the truth...and in that, we will be set free.
Your thoughts are a little more "free spirited" than they once were, but hey, that's where I'm heading too. Guess we can wander together....and a few others I know are on the same path. It will be good.
Mom
I like that I can learn from a guy going to hell???
Dutch Blitz huh?
Bloody Mennonites...
I am digging your questioning spirit.
Keep reading Luke.
And we let you lead our small group? My goodness! :)
Glad that we can wander and wonder together.
YES FINALLY!
The salvation question...as if that is even up to us? HA! I like how we always try to interpret scripture through our lenses, and then pretend we know exactly what the passage meant (I am not saying this is not possible...but maybe we need to tread a bit cautiously with obverting meanings derived from the text through our schemas)
Anyway...what the fudge? O.k, if you are going to use the W.T.F i say go big or go home! (i like fudge by the way).
thank you for your epistemic humility. I am encouraged and challenged by it.
Marc, I love it. I. Love. It. Thanks for sharing that. It's so good to be reminded that we're not alone in our questioning. That's something I love about Judaism, those guys will question pretty much anything, they'll disagree with one another to the extreme, but they don't just abandon dialogue because it leads to murky waters.
Mom, I'm glad you can be more 'free spirited' with me in seeking the truth.
Erik, if nothing else you can observe and learn how NOT to go to hell. And thanks for the plug to keep reading Luke. I'm still at it, though the pace has slowed.
Janelle, you should probably excommunicate me from small group lest you be tainted with my questionable theologies;)
Kim, as a person who needs glasses to function in many ways I'm finding myself more and more aware of our spiritual lenses that can clarify or distort our vision. But how do we know which is which?
This questioning spirit of mine is an expression of something much deeper. I feel like I'm missing the mark in some major ways but that God is still revealing Himself through that. I have no idea what is going to happen.
It's a bit scary.
I have to say I'm proud of you Matthew, it's nice seeing you grow. Oh and am I the feminist you mentioned?! LOL:)
One issue in your post that struck me is the issue of going to heaven or going to hell. One moment, think I am fine with hell. Than the next moment am I really? I know my life isn't perfect and frankly who is? But that's not the issue. I know repenting for the things I have done wrong will help in getting to a better place. God is the ultimate judge, juror, and executioner. So He will make the decision to send me to hell or let me walk on.
Good post, Matt
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