The Return of the King

I have returned...and yes, that title is a bit too extreme a statement to describe my arrival back at my homestead, but I felt it evoked some good imagery. "When in Rome..."

Oh tree planting, how I miss you already:( It was very challenging work, both physically and mentally, though the physical difficulty was certainly more pronounced at the very beginning and very end. It was hard work but good work, satisfying work that challenged me to the core, which is really the kind of work I long for, albeit often begrudgingly.

It has been a very formational few months though I am still searching for words to even somewhat adequately explain all that has occurred in my inner being throughout this endeavor. While talking to Kim, my very significant other (whom I was able to spend the last month planting with), I mentioned that things would be different when I finally returned home but that I was unsure what that would look like and what those differences would be. I still don't have a clear picture.

And having watched "The Dark Knight" while on a day off in B.C., I throw out this bit of quotable quotes from the Joker, "But I know the truth: there's no going back. You've changed things ... forever"

Life, by it's very nature, is not static, not in the least. My insides have been rearranged, for better or worse, but hopefully for the better. My faith has changed along with my understanding of who God is, who I am, and what this Christianity business is all about. I don't for a second think that I see things clearly now but I do see things on another level.

To use the analogy of sight, it's not quite like going from seeing in black and white to seeing shades of gray but more like going from seeing in two dimensions to seeing in three. It's not that my poor eyesight has been miraculously restored. No, my vision is still quite fuzzy, but I'm making out shapes and objects that were previously foreign to me.

Seeing the form of a sphere can be quite disturbing when having lived in a world of mere circles.

I don't know where I go from here and to be honest I'm a bit frightened and anxious. I honestly don't know where this is going to end up.

But I know that I can't go back and so I step forward into the unknown.