The rain keeps pouring

"How can I face this frustration?
How can bear this pain?
When light is swallowed by darkness,
when clear skies turn to rain."

It seems to be no accident that it is pouring outside. I usually love the rain. Not today.

It is a disturbing and uncomfortable reality that some of us are enveloped by our deep internal suffering. There have been quite a few times in my own life where this has become a reality. What do you do when life seems too painful to bear anymore? When hope has been shattered or shrouded and the loneliness takes hold of your soul?

But this isn't about me.

Last night a fellow student at my college, whom I shared a pastoral theology class with last semester, took his own life last night.

And just like that, the darkness seems to win.

The most shocking thing for me has been how unshocking this has felt. It could have been any number of people that made that decision. It could have easily been me.

This says so much less about the individual than it does about our society. The way our culture does community, the way our society ranks what is of most importance, is so fundamentally flawed. This was not the failure of the individual, or even of this particular little community. I can't even begin to elaborate on how systemic this issue is. It's just beyond my comprehension at the moment.

The church, the body of Christ, in our culture does community better than some but not even better than most and certainly not without strong influence from the world around us. We are, in part, products of our socialization, both individually and corporately. This is not something this is easily repaired, especially when so many are completely oblivious to the fact.

My theology tells me that Brad is in perfect communion with God right now, a final redemption of what relationship was created to be. This offers me some hope.