Love & Intimacy pt.2

Somewhere along the line I came to both underestimate and overestimate the potential of human relationship.

I underestimated it in the sense that I could never have imagined the depths of my being that another person could touch and reveal to me through the gift of love.

I overestimated it in the sense that as much as another person can offer, they can never offer the deepest love that I need.

Both of those realities seem to intertwine in some strange way that I don't yet fully understand. To have someone guide you to the darkest and most intimate caverns of your heart is an incredible and miraculous journey. Yet when you reach the door to center of your being and your guide is unable to walk with you any further it becomes terrifying.

How can you continue on your own when you've needed someone to get this far? How can you now be expected to move forward alone? It seems unfair and unreasonable at first glance, unless it was a test of strength but I don't believe that it is. It is simply a part of our humanity being created as unique individuals. No one has the key to your center but you and only you can walk through into it. This is where we meet the Transcendent Reality, the creator and lover of all that we are.

This is where God dwells within us.

To enter our center means leaving all others behind. We must leave behind all the love and intimacy that we have been offered. Why? Because its only a partial expression of the love and intimacy for which we truly yearn. God desires to give us these gifts in their fullness, but we cannot receive them if our hands are full. We must learn to let go.

This is where the risk and fear is found. To let go means that we may lose all that we had. How can we be sure that when we enter our inner chamber we will really receive the gifts we have been promised?

We can't be.

It is a risk.

And so our heavenly Father/Mother waits for us and gently whispers to us, as one would comfort a frightened child to assure them that they need not be afraid. To enter our deepest self is, in fact, the safest place of all.