Acceptance

"There is nothing unworthy of acceptance."

Upon hearing that, my internal reaction was rather visceral, caught between my chest tightening and my heart expanding, my thoughts running rampant.

"What do you mean?"

Yes, it's perfect

"How is that possible?"

Everything is worthy

"There's so much tragedy and pain in life!"

Everything is perfect.

Everything is.

This seems a bold statement to make but not one that is unfounded. This does not mean that we should cease to make choices to change situations and circumstances for the better but it does mean we let go of our fundamental belief that what exists in this present moment is 'bad', that there is something fundamentally wrong with reality, as it is. And as long as we think there is something wrong, we will either become obsessed with fixing it or give up in apathy.

Reality is what 'is' and is ultimately unchangeable. No amount of frustration or sadness or anger - righteous or otherwise - is going to change what already is. Yet this is beautiful because it means that we don't have to struggle against what cannot be changed! We don't have to resist and fight and rage against the truth of this moment.

"But I want to change the world!" you say, "Or at least my own life and circumstances!"

Absolutely. Do it. Go for it 100%. Give it everything you've got.

But you can't change this moment. You can only respond to it.

We create the future by responding to the present, not trying to change it. What 'is' can never be changed but how we choose to respond to it is entirely in our own hands. The 'problem' is that we often end up focusing our energy on what cannot be changed and overlook the incredible potential that also exists in this moment to create a new possibility, the opportunity to midwife a better future that has not yet arrived.

In every moment we can choose to accept what is and work with it, to respond to it from a place of openness and authenticity, or we can close ourselves off and resist. And maybe in resisting we might desperately work to change things and feel better...until the next time we encounter something less than pleasant.

But what happens when we encounter things we can't change, feelings we can't seem to get rid of or people we can't control?

All of our energy and focus spent on resisting and fighting what 'is' is wasted effort. It's like swimming desperately upstream in a strong river. Not only are you still swept along but when you're swimming in the other direction you can't see what's in front of you and all of your strength to manoeuvre is being used up. And for what? What are we struggling against?

'Good' or 'bad' become mere words in the blazing light of the eternal present. Every moment is a complete gift, an amazing opportunity, we just need to develop eyes to see it as such. As the great Indian sage, Sri Ramana Maharshi, once remarked to a devotee, "You thank God for the good things that come to you but you don't thank Him for the things that seem to you bad; that is where you go wrong."

It's not about accepting some fatalistic future set in stone or being indifferently resigned to the way things are, it's about accepting the gift of this moment, however it's wrapped. The more we are able to fully embrace this gift, the more our resistance and internal contractions will release and the more clarity and wisdom we will discover in how to respond to life, how to consciously act and take responsibility for ourselves.

Two questions to ask ourselves, over and over again, offered by Raphael Cushnir, are:

1) "What is happening right now?"

This applies to the external circumstances of life but more importantly to the internal experience we're having, to try and see it from a more objective point of view. What are we experiencing?

Then we can move on to ask,

2) "Can I be with it?"

More than just consciously choosing to accept something this is about uncovering the part of ourselves that is always fully present and always accepting of everything we experience. It's about taking a position not simply affirming a belief. And when we can honestly and authentically say 'yes' to this question then we begin to make room for the possible, for engaging with our life in a creative and skillful way that isn't rooted in resistance and fear but in acceptance and, ultimately, love. As this happens we become more capable of fully embracing all that we are and can become.

"There is nothing unworthy of acceptance."