In writing a forthcoming post about integrity and development, it became apparent that a gentle sloping line of growth doesn't quite express the subtle dimensions of spiritual transformation. And what does 'spiritual transformation' even mean?
Regardless of how different traditions have interpreted and languaged these things, the essence of spiritual transformation seems to be about a profound reorienting of the self, of who we are in existence. It's about discovering and then manifesting a part of who we are that has a radically different relationship to life than the one we normally assume. Whether we call this the 'Spirit of Christ' and think we need to believe in Jesus in order to receive it or whether we call it our 'Authentic Self' and see it as always already a part of who we are in the deepest dimension of our being, the principle is still the same: discovering a radically different position to life that transcends all of our individual desires and fears.
It's amazingly encouraging to discover that there have been people from virtually all religious traditions who have attempted to point us to this simple yet utterly transformational experience and perspective. So if it's so simple, why are so few spiritual seekers and practioners living radically different lives? Part of the issue, I believe, is that we're trying to have our individual ego transformed, meaning that we want our thoughts and feelings to be transformed: to feel better and happier and more peaceful and content. However, trying to make our ego into God is ridiculous, though our ego would strongly disagree!
It's not about our ego - our individual self-sense - being transformed into a better version for us to identify with, it's about our manifest life being transformed through identifying with, and living out of, a completely different part of ourselves. Our ego is not interested in this kind of business, for it means the ego is no longer the centre of the world and that we are no longer victims of our very personal and overwhelming desires and fears. This means that when we attempt to let go of our exclusive identity with this part of ourselves we encounter a lot of psychologial resistance, much of which can sound very reasonable.
"How could I be anything other than who I am? That would be so inauthentic!"
"I'm just not capable of doing that. Maybe if I worked at it for a long time..."
"What if it means giving up things I want? That's just not fair!"
Our mind is an amazing tool but we're not going to discover spiritual liberation through it, despite what it is constantly saying to us. Why not? Because this kind of reorientation is about shifting our identity to something that isn't a 'thing' at all, that can't be contained or objectified in any way. It's beyond all of our thoughts, feelings, and personal ego. It's not something we can figure out. It's the ineffable mystery we call 'God.'
How overwhelming is that?!?
To our ego, it will always seem like it's just way, way too much. That part of ourselves is never going to be interested in transformation except for selfish reasons and as soon as we begin to make genuine effort to embrace this reorientation of identity our ego will fight it tooth and nail.
We may want to feel free, to be happy and content, to have profound spiritual experiences, to live a rich and fulfilling life and even become a better person. But as soon as we explore the idea of living from a place that transcends our individual person we freak right the heck out. Understandably so! It feels like death to the ego, no doubt.
But our personal individuality doesn't need to be destroyed, only our incessant and exclusive identification with it. In fact, it's a beautiful part of who we are! But it's not so beautiful when we choose to live as if it's the ONLY or even the most important part.
The effort needed for our lives to become manifest expressions of God is not in trying to be better or do more but rather to surrender and take responsibility for all of the parts of ourselves that have no interest or desire to surrender whatsoever. No, we (the ego) can't be God. That's a given. But we can allow God to 'be' us. Are we ready to give our lives to this kind of radical reorientation and fully face into whatever we encounter? Probably not, as I know that I'm often more preoccupied with my own selfish desires. But if not then what are we doing with our time and energy? What are we doing with our spiritual life?
Though there are always rare exceptions and miraculous gifts of transformative grace, for most of us if we're not unwaveringly committed to this kind of deep transformation it's not going to happen as any kind of consistent expression in how we live. We need to take responsibility for ourselves and the lives we are living. The good news is that we can! There is indeed hope and all things are possible with God. The only catch is that we need to participate in creating the 'possible'.
Yes, God needs our help.
But, seriously, what could be more worthwhile if we really stop to contemplate this?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I always appreciate your continual push for transformation. I think it's a good thing. But you make it sound like it is impossible or requires us to do nothing but focus on changing. Perhaps that is not what you meant, but I am one who believes that spirituality is not as complex as we make it out to be. It is in the subtle changes that take place in us as we try to move become people who can let go and move on.
Individuality is not such a bad thing because we have been given different traits, abilities, environments and families. What I find the most interesting about the human journey through life is ultimately very similar for all people. That there is uniqueness in it, but at the same time a commonality to it all.
Wants and needs are another thing, that I think can easily distract us, but at the same time can give us drive. There is something good about the earthly drive, because I see the connection to our spirituality in it.
I'll be honest, you speak at a level right above me. I think I generally follow you, but some times I feel like I just can't quite grasp it. These were just thoughts that jumped to mind as I read it. I feel how we speak about spirituality is different in that you seem to hold it to be a much more difficult thing to do that only the most disciplined and devoted can attain and I think that is so.
I don't know. Maybe I'm responding to this too late in the night. Take care.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, David Rae, whether of a 'late night' origin or not;)
The kind of reorientation I speak of is unbearably simply but infinitely challenging for our ego, as it means transcending our small, individual self. But it also INCLUDES our small, individual self. Our engaged experience in the world, as an individual, is transformed when we choose to live from this deeper dimension of our identity.
A beautiful thing is that this transformed relationship to life is always available to us in every moment if we're willing to make the right kind of noble effort to embrace it. [It's easy to make fruitless effort in many areas of life, and this is a whole other important topic.]
It's also something we can all attain in any moment, without a doubt, and many people would testify to the experience of something ultimately greater than themselves being expressed through their actions and life.
We can all have spiritual experience and express divine love effortlessly in our highest moments but what I would also say is that if we want our life to become an expression of unbroken consistency in manifesting this kind of love in the world, it literally takes everything we've got to give. We have to be willing to go all the way. No exceptions. Few of us - including myself - are really prepared to go that far. And yet that's where all the action is at!
Spiritual growth, as I see it, is laregely about discovering again and again this deepest dimension of ourselves where Christ resides and choosing more and more to make decisions that relfect this part that is only interested in 'going all the way', so to speak. This is where spiritual practice comes in, I think.
I hope that helps clarify some of these ideas so thank you for sharing and helping me further process some of this stuff!
Much love,
Matt
Post a Comment
Your Thoughts