This is a question I keep coming back to over and over again. Why? Because I keep running away from it! Most of us can come up with some idea of what's important in life, if really pushed, though discerning what we believe to be most important can be a more challenging task, without a doubt.
All of us are already expressing what is most important to us through the way we live our lives, whether our conscious beliefs line up with that or not. So it's not simply a question of figuring out what's most important but also discerning what we already believe to be most important.
I can intellectually assert that the evolution of self, consciousness and culture is what's most important but I also know that my actions most often do not reflect this perspective. When I'm confronted with a new possibility of profound transformation in the way I live and relate to life I most often choose to recoil in fear, unwilling to face the unknown potential that begins to emerge when I really make the effort to give myself to spiritual practice thru aligning my actions with my highest intentions.
What happens? I begin to see that change is really possible, yet ultimately demanding, and I decide to stick with my ego's perspective and position because it's so much more familiar and comfortable, even if it completely contradicts my heart and soul. It seems to me that the ego's perspective is that what is most important is for us to feel a particular way, to feel 'good,' whatever that might mean to us, regardless of the implications.
We can do an incredible amount of genuinely positive actions even when our primary locus of importance is on our own feeling of 'goodness.' We can be generous, act humbly and confess our failures - all good things, in and of themselves - and yet be motivated by a personal desire to somehow feel better. Even when we do things that harm ourselves and those closest to us, they're often done to feel 'better,' even if 'better' doesn't mean happy, positive emotions.
The specifics maybe aren't that important and it seems likely we all have different psychological leanings, meaning it's not so much about what we're wanting to feel, only that we want to feel a certain way...or NOT feel a certain way, however one wishes to look at it. What this position says, essentially, is that how we feel is most important.
Until we face our unconscious and unclear motives and values it's going to be difficult for any deep and lasting change to occur. How could it? Of course, this applies to so many areas of life but how much more crucial is our response when it relates to transforming ourselves and the world for the better? I can see and feel my own resistance to both looking at this question and also seeing the dissonance between the answer whispered in my heart and the answer spoken through my life.
To really wrestle with these things is ultimately serious and demanding work; spiritual 'heavy lifting,' so to speak. But if we really do want to move forward in significant ways, and not get stuck, it's work we all have to do. I'm also becoming more and more convinced that we need others to help us in this process, those who are willing to engage this question more deeply and help one another see ourselves more clearly and honestly.
Even after all I've said I truly believe I've understated the importance of all of this. This question is huge and the further I move towards it the bigger it appears; it really does have the potential to define one's destiny.
You don't need muscles to do this kind of 'heavy lifting,' only courage.
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2 comments:
I guess that shifting from 'how we feel is most important' to 'transforming ourselves and the world for the better is most important' is a very difficult choice to make because those options are totally different in their nature. One wants to receive, the other wants to give. They are not comparable in the same dimension or "currency". One is known, the other is unknown. Our criteria to make choices don't comprehend that unknown dimension. It's like they are not in the same menu. You are right, we need courage. I want to find my courage, and you are helping me to do it. Thank you so much.
When we 'love God, and our neighbors as ourselves'...that kind of sets things up for us, don't you think? When we love God...truly...our inner selves should line up with what we do in the world around us - loving others. Could it be as simple as an attitude shift...by the grace of God??? And maybe it isn't "heavy lifting". Maybe it really is "light lifting", much more simple than you believe it to be. We live with that question (what is most important) each moment of our lives, I think, because we are always making choices. Granted, some are more difficult to make but if we let the making of choices become the most important thing, rather than the outcome of those choices, we may miss the intent of the "most important" things in life.
That probably doesn't make much sense...but it does to me:)
Thanks for thinking about all of this. It makes me rethink things too, actually.
You're a good son.
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