I was planning on posting the next part of my 'Integrity' series but, ironically, I didn't have enough 'integrity' to pull it off. That's okay, it makes for more interesting blogging and for a chance to express the more personal side of things. Now, I could make time to finish it but I wouldn't do it justice so I'm writing this instead.
When I say that I didn't have enough integrity, I mean that I had planned to do something I believed to be important and failed to do so for no particularly good reason. I had enough time. I had enough opportunity. I had most of it already written. So what was the missing ingredient? What was I lacking? In one sense, I was lacking self-discipline but what does that even mean? It means I didn't make the choice to go against my feelings and/or thoughts and do what I had decided to do.
Perhaps integrity tends to be viewed as something more related to values while self-discipline could be referring to the more subjective aspect of simply doing what we have decided to do. I see this particular example related to integrity since my purpose in sharing in this space is directly connected to what I see as being higher values. So it's not simply that I failed to do something I intended to do but that I failed to honour one of my values.
We all do this. I know I'm not special in this sense and the implications are profound when we start to dig deep enough. We all have values and we all make choices. That's easy to understand. We all have values and we all make choices that do not always align with these values. That's not as easy to understand.
You believe that losing your temper and yelling at someone is hurtful and wrong and yet...
You believe that criticizing others in your head or out loud is wrong and yet...
You believe that taking time out of your day to exercise, meditate, pray, etc., is worthwhile and yet...
You believe that being generous and patient in all things is an expression of love and yet...
You believe that [fill in whatever you'd like that I haven't covered but which applies to your life] and yet...
Take some time to deliberately stop and think about why you do the things you do, and specifically, why you make choices that don't reflect your values. In this process, just let go of all your preconceived ideas that you already have about why you do or don't do certain things and put your interest and attention on what you don't already know. That's a challenge in it's own right, I know! But, if you're willing, make the effort. Really do it.
If you're serious about it and you'd like more guidance or instruction, just ask and I'll try to help or point you to better resources. I like pretending that some of the people who read this, whoever you are, are interested in walking through these things with me, to some degree.
One thing I'm seeing more and more clearly is that no one else can do the work for us. Reading about my thoughts isn't going to change you anymore than my reading the thoughts of others is going to change me. It can help us become more clear on what steps to we need to take but we still have to take the steps.
Believe me, this is still something I am learning and wrestling with everyday.
Consider that a formal invitation to join me. How can you join me? Reading this is a good start. Beyond that, leave some of your thoughts or questions on what I'm sharing in this space. If you're really adventurous, take the time to contemplate what I'm presenting and/or practice what I suggest and report back. I really do believe that we can all help each other move forward if we're willing to work together.
On final consideration, the irony in all of this is that while I had wanted to share more about my understanding of integrity, my intention was simply to write something in this space, preferably of some sort of value. So it would seem that in this instance I was able to follow through on my intention and express some integrity in doing so...well, I'd like to hope that good examples can sometimes be better than lousy ones.
When I say that I didn't have enough integrity, I mean that I had planned to do something I believed to be important and failed to do so for no particularly good reason. I had enough time. I had enough opportunity. I had most of it already written. So what was the missing ingredient? What was I lacking? In one sense, I was lacking self-discipline but what does that even mean? It means I didn't make the choice to go against my feelings and/or thoughts and do what I had decided to do.
Perhaps integrity tends to be viewed as something more related to values while self-discipline could be referring to the more subjective aspect of simply doing what we have decided to do. I see this particular example related to integrity since my purpose in sharing in this space is directly connected to what I see as being higher values. So it's not simply that I failed to do something I intended to do but that I failed to honour one of my values.
We all do this. I know I'm not special in this sense and the implications are profound when we start to dig deep enough. We all have values and we all make choices. That's easy to understand. We all have values and we all make choices that do not always align with these values. That's not as easy to understand.
You believe that losing your temper and yelling at someone is hurtful and wrong and yet...
You believe that criticizing others in your head or out loud is wrong and yet...
You believe that taking time out of your day to exercise, meditate, pray, etc., is worthwhile and yet...
You believe that being generous and patient in all things is an expression of love and yet...
You believe that [fill in whatever you'd like that I haven't covered but which applies to your life] and yet...
Take some time to deliberately stop and think about why you do the things you do, and specifically, why you make choices that don't reflect your values. In this process, just let go of all your preconceived ideas that you already have about why you do or don't do certain things and put your interest and attention on what you don't already know. That's a challenge in it's own right, I know! But, if you're willing, make the effort. Really do it.
If you're serious about it and you'd like more guidance or instruction, just ask and I'll try to help or point you to better resources. I like pretending that some of the people who read this, whoever you are, are interested in walking through these things with me, to some degree.
One thing I'm seeing more and more clearly is that no one else can do the work for us. Reading about my thoughts isn't going to change you anymore than my reading the thoughts of others is going to change me. It can help us become more clear on what steps to we need to take but we still have to take the steps.
Believe me, this is still something I am learning and wrestling with everyday.
Consider that a formal invitation to join me. How can you join me? Reading this is a good start. Beyond that, leave some of your thoughts or questions on what I'm sharing in this space. If you're really adventurous, take the time to contemplate what I'm presenting and/or practice what I suggest and report back. I really do believe that we can all help each other move forward if we're willing to work together.
On final consideration, the irony in all of this is that while I had wanted to share more about my understanding of integrity, my intention was simply to write something in this space, preferably of some sort of value. So it would seem that in this instance I was able to follow through on my intention and express some integrity in doing so...well, I'd like to hope that good examples can sometimes be better than lousy ones.
2 comments:
'Integrity', ironically this is the blog you would write and I would read right at this particular time in life. Thank-you for this - I am struggling a bit that's all that I am willing to share here...I guess one's choice on any given day does not lend to the idea that one is unable to choose again next time - but better, as in we shouldn't feel bound to a decision that lends automatically to a series of decisions/actions as though we simply don't have the free will to choose better each and every time. I think it's important to understand that when one chooses to take a wrong turn we also can choose step by step how far we end up down that road - will it be all the way to the dead end that will inevitably come, which can only cause hurt and pain; or will it be just a block in the wrong direction but we were willing to maybe 'ask for direction' and turn back around with only some bumps and maybe even a scar or two.
Free will means we have the right to choose, so why once we start down a wrong path it seems so hard to be able to turn around as if we are walking with a blind fold placed over our eyes..
Good thoughts Matthew, thanks for sharing. And so it would seem that when you are ready to post that other blog you can, you just need to choose to do so or you can convince yourself that its too late - there's no point, simply because it might not look the same as you intended it to look or come out. But have you asked yourself the question ' what if because it is not perfect it transfers better' and people like me who may read it may be able to be touched in our lives, partly because of its 'imperfection' which ultimately ends up being more true to life and, therefore, often is more likely to be well received because of our longing to be able to share that sense of bond with another that is not scared to share in a way that we can relate because we all need to feel like we are not alone in our imperfectness.
Anyways, sorry if none of this makes sense - I have a bit of insomnia so who knows if I will even understand it if I were to read it again.
Shannon
Thanks for joining me and sharing your thoughts in this.
"...it's important to understand that when one chooses to take a wrong turn we also can choose step by step how far we end up down that road..."
That's so true and also challenging because it means we have to face and take responsibility for the wrong turn that we took, and that threatens our identity as someone who 'knows what they're doing' but doesn't want to be responsible for that.
I think the humility to ask for help and guidance is a huge step forward for any of us, for sure.
As far as perfection goes, I don't believe anyone can ever be 'perfect,' in one sense, because the process of life seems to be that of unending growth and evolution, but what we CAN strive towards is living from the deepest, most authentic part of who we are.
I think this is what you're pointing to, perhaps, as there's nothing innately inspiring about the imperfections of others, haha. But what IS inspiring, I believe, is seeing people, in all of their human imperfection, living out higher values that we don't see as being possible for ourselves.
Thanks again, for sharing:)
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