...who am I?

I've been accused of thinking too much.  I agree.

Others of us could be accused of not thinking enough.  This can also be a problem.

Nevertheless, I don't think the problem is 'thinking too much' or 'not thinking enough.'  If you really stop to consider your own experience, you're almost always thinking - even if you aren't aware of it - and you're almost always doing - even if that means sitting down and staring at the wall. 

I think what we might be referring to when evaluating what constitutes a withdrawn and indecisive 'thinker' from an impulsive and unaware 'doer' is a bit more subtle.  When we accuse people of thinking too much what I believe we're trying to communicate is, "You can't always have everything figured out before you act and choosing to not act is still a choice that has consequences." 

Our critique against those who don't think enough might be, "You need to realize that even though you can't have everything figured out before you act, some choices are better than others and taking some time to consider this is worthwhile because all choices have consequences."

Fair enough? 

I don't think the deficiency in these two scenarios points to simply a lack of balance between thinking and doing.  I'm sure there are helpful ways of evaluating how to invest one's time in energy between these areas of experience and achieve greater success in life through evaluating the potential impact of choices and then using that factor to determine the appropriate...blah, blah, blah.  I genuinely do believe that can be helpful but I think it still misses something fundamental.

Our thoughts, in and of themselves, don't seem to have much impact in the world of time and form.  I don't discredit the potential power of 'positive thinking' but in comparison to our actions, where we take our body and actually do things, it seems their footprint is relatively small.

But then the question arises, where do our choices come from?  Why do we make some choices and not others?  Why do I choose to offer help to the old lady I see in the parking lot and choose to speak harshly with a loved one? 

For most of us, our thoughts and feelings determine our actions.  It seems we may give more credence to one over the other, depending on the circumstances, but they are almost always both present in our internal experience...aside from the extremes of robots and babies.  Our inner world is often a swirling mass of interpenetrating thoughts and feelings and this is occurring in me as I write this just as surely as it is occurring in you as you read this, whatever the particular cocktail might be.

These are interesting things to consider but what I'm interested in goes a step further.  What lies beyond the limited world of thought and feeling that make up our sense of self?  Beyond your thoughts and feelings, who are you?

And what does any of this have to do with becoming whole and healthy human beings?  In some ways, it would seem I've just thrown out everything I was previously writing.  We invest so much of our energy and sense of self in our thoughts and feelings but are we willing to find out who is left when we momentarily set them aside? 

What I'm suggesting is that who we believe ourselves to be is fundamentally affects our entire existence and relationship with everything.  Do we really know who we are? 

What we believe about life and the universe and God and truth and beauty and goodness are all underpinned and resting on this simple question: "who am I?"